The Bicyclists

In a revelation into 1st world problems two significant issues arose, Sunday 5th May 2019. Local man, P Larkey advised, unprompted that in order to clean up bird feathers from he and his wife Annabel's front lawn, he actually keeps a spare vacuum cleaner in the garden shed, and periodically sucks up the feathers (presumably hand picking the broken and crunched bones and leatherised skin). "It won't go away with a normal lawn mowing, and detracts from the look of the lawn" - Mr Larkey, former now retired senior secondary State school teacher in literature told your reporter at the Driftwood Restaurant - Lauderdale, Tasmania. The revelations were clearly a shock to Mr Larkey's companions: see graphic:  Porter, Kozlow and Fitzgibbon debate alternative and more carbon neutral methods of removing bird feathers from their garden lawns. Meanwhile, in other States, with the State Upper House election still undecided, complaints that the candidates had not yet